By Susan Anne Santo
Rated: PG
An alternate beginning for the movie.
Scene 1
Exterior: A flat plain beside a hard toy ocean with rising waves. Ruth is standing there
pensively.
Ruth: I’ll call this Barbieland. And Barbie will live here. In the real world Barbie is a doll
played with by little girls. But here she’s life size and conscious. (Waves her hand.)
Barbie, wearing a black and white bathing suit and high heels, appears.
Ruth (well satisfied): Perfect. (Barbie cannot see her.)
Barbie: I love it! (stretches out her arms toward the vivid blue sky and dances)
Ruth: I’ll create her a companion. (Waves her hand and Ken appears, looking slightly
bewildered. He is wearing a bathing suit and striped shirt, buttons open to show his
muscular chest.)
Ken: (agog at seeing the loveliest girl he’s ever seen – well, the only girl he’s ever seen) –
Hey, Baby!
Barbie: Don’t call me Baby.
Ken: Hey, Beautiful.
Barbie: Hey yourself.
Ken: I have a feeling my name is Ken.
Barbie: Barbie.
Ken: Hey, there, Barbie.
Barbie is bored.
Ken: Watch me do a flip! (He leaps into the air, turns over, and falls flat on his face on the
hard sand.)
Barbie (indifferent): Are you hurt?
Ken: I scraped my hand. (He gets up and holds it out.) Kiss it and make it better, Barbie.
Annoyed, she takes his hand and gives it a quick kiss.
Ken: (overjoyed and beyond grateful) Oh, thank you, Barbie, Barbie.
Barbie: I’m leaving now. I mean it. I want to be alone. (She walks off.)
He watches her go, sadly.
Ruth: Hm. I may have made a mistake in making that one. (He cannot see her.)
Barbie finds a town full of pink Dreamhouses rising toward the sky. They do not have walls.
She picks one to be her Dreamhouse. It is filled with beautiful frilly dresses and nightgowns.
She puts on a pink and white striped dress and walks outside.
Barbie: Where are all the people? I wish I had other girls to talk to.
Immediately other Barbies appear. Each is beautiful in pink.
President Barbie: Hi, Barbie.
Doctor Barbie: Hi, Barbie.
Lawyer Barbie: Hi, Barbie.
Writer Barbie: Hi, Barbie.
Barbie (overwhelmed): Hi, Barbie.
The girls all cheer. They hug.
Ken (approaches, now wearing all white): Hey, Barbie, I figured out what my job is. It’s
Beach!
Barbie: That’s nice, Ken (indifferent).
Ken: Is that our dreamhouse, Barbie?
Barbie (shocked): Of course not. That is MY dreamhouse. Mine! You stay away.
Ken (disappointed): Okay.
Barbie: Let’s have a big party. All the Barbies are invited. We’ll have loads of fun!
Ken (hopefully): Can I come too?
Barbie: If you must. We need other Kens to be our dance partners.
Immediately several other Kens appear, looking dapper in all white.
Simu Liu Ken: Hi, Barbie!
Barbie: Oh, hi, Ken.
Ken (jealous): He’s not the one for you, Barbie.
Barbie: We’re just friends. (She goes into the dream house, followed by the others. A party
commences.)
Scene 2
Weird Barbie lives in her Weird House a distance from the Dreamhouses. Every day she
goes for a walk throughout the town. Today she sees Barbie and Ken standing outside,
facing each other. Ken is leaning his face toward Barbie’s. She remains standing straight up
rigidly, giving him no encouragement. Her smile is strained.
Ken (leans back): I thought I might stay tonight.
Barbie: What for?
Ken: I don’t know. (hopefully) We could cuddle?
Barbie: With you? I don’t think so. You can go now.
Ken: (walks away sadly)
Weird Barbie: (approaching Barbie): Who was that gorgeous man I saw you with?
Barbie: Oh, that’s just Ken. He’s nobody.
Weird Barbie: Why are you so cruel to him?
Barbie: He’s stupid. I keep telling him I’m not interested in him AND HE KEEPS COMING
BACK! (shouting)
Weird Barbie: I know plenty of Barbies who would want a man like that.
Barbie: They can have him.
Weird Barbie: I used to be the most beautiful of all the Barbies. I may not be that now, but I
am still attractive.
Barbie: You want him? Take him!
Weird Barbie: You’ll be sorry you said that.
Barbie: I don’t think so, Weird Barbie.
Weird Barbie: I have to think. (walks to her Weird House and goes inside. She sees Ken
walking toward the house.) Here’s my chance!
Ken (approaching Weird Barbie): I heard you’re the wisest of all the Barbies. I have a
problem I hope you can help me with.
Weird Barbie: What can I do you for, Kenny?
Ken (somewhat startled by the familiarity): There’s this girl that I adore. But she won’t let me
spend any time with her. She won’t even let me kiss her.
Weird Barbie: Barbie, right?
Ken: Stereotypical Barbie. What can I do to make her like me?
Weird Barbie: Forget her.
Ken: What?
Weird Barbie: There’s nothing you can do. But don’t worry. There are plenty of fish in the
sea.
Ken (confused): What?
Weird Barbie: (throws her arms around his neck, pulls his face down to hers, and kisses
him hard on the mouth).
Ken: (tries to pull away but she holds on tight, overcome with passion. She lets him go
finally. He takes a step back). I don’t feel that way about you. I’m in love with Barbie.
Weird Barbie (hopefully): Couldn’t you feel that way after a while?
Ken: No. Barbie is the sun in my morning, she’s the moon in my night.
Weird Barbie: You could stay here with me and live in my Weird House. You wouldn’t have
to sleep on the beach with the other Kens.
Ken: Are you going to make me do that?
Weird Barbie: Of course not. I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do.
Ken (relieved): Thank you, Barbie.
Weird Barbie (startled): What did you just call me?
Ken: Barbie. That’s your name, isn’t it?
Weird Barbie: Yes, but everyone calls me Weird Barbie.
Ken: I heard you didn’t like to be called that.
Weird Barbie (quietly): You’re not stupid.
Ken: Was I wrong?
Weird Barbie: No. You’re sweet. It makes me want you even more. (takes a step toward him)
Ken: (holds out his hands protectively as though to ward her off) I don’t want to hurt your
feelings.
Weird Barbie: She is not worthy of you. She will never love you the way you want her to.
Ken: I can wait an eternity for her. I have time. Goodbye, Barbie.
Weird Barbie: Goodbye, Kenny. (goes back into her house and sits down on a chair). That’s
true love for you (as we fade out).
THE END
Discussion Questions
- Why doesn’t Barbie love Ken?
- Why is Barbie so cruel to Ken?
Copyright 2024 by Susan A. Santo
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